Tag Archives: Michael Burge

Shake the dread: a sample of The Watchnight

IN A REMOTE Methodist community of New South Wales in 1852, aspiring lay preacher Charles Muncey is tasked with recording the sins of every soul who signs up for a week-long revival.

He has plenty to work with. Pardoned convict Thomas Gunson knows the way through the wilderness and agrees to guide the faithful on a circuit of their struggling chapels, though he fears the company of people now that he’s out of his shackles. Irish emigre Oona Farry, recruited as a candlemaker, resents the devotion of the women during their ecstatic praising, convinced that God has abandoned her for her lustful secrets. Even righteous hosts Jacob and Anne Temple harbour transgressions they dare not voice.

But when Californian preacher Charisma Groom stirs up unbridled repentance during a watchnight on the edge of wild country, illicit sex and sudden death come to light. The congregation is ordered to hunt the devil through the ancient Fish River Caves, a dangerous underworld where raptures more powerful than faith are awakened.

With nothing but his fledgling moral compass, Muncey must see through blind faith to uncover which member of the flock is a callous killer.

This is a bold reimagining of the untold story of the Methodist settlers who colonised Australia’s renowned Jenolan Caves during the Frontier Wars.


The prologue of The Watchnight

Gunson thought about firing a potshot over the head of the kid who was dragging a pony up the spine of the treeless hogback, but there was no time to fish out his pistol. Besides, the white smears of the beast’s eyes told a story of near death. The lad must have forced his ride through the flooded gully below, and the way he aimed his own pale peepers right at the hut meant there was no hiding.

‘Creek up?’ Gunson shouted like a smartass.

The kid nodded between tight shoulders. ‘If you’re Thomas Gunson, I’m to go straight back to Mr. Temple with your answer,’ he said, holding out a damp envelope.

Judging by the dark sheen of his duds, the lad had worse weather at his heels. The last thing Gunson needed was someone stopping the night, but he lashed Lizzie’s reins to the post on the sheltered side of the hut, cranky that his mare would have to share the cramped space with a half-dead pony and shoved the door open.

‘Clothes over the chair,’ he said, throwing the lad a blanket and rattling up the fire inside the granite chimney.

Words on a page still dazzled him, so he poked the envelope onto a nail above the mantle, lit a candle in the iron cage hanging from the rafters, and threw bits and brats into the stew pot. By the time Gunson sat on the cot and peeled the letter open to see what his old master wanted of him, the kid had dozed off.

I hope this letter finds you home, friend, and not tempted to go digging for gold. We lost more souls to its baneful influence this spring, including a Reverend who preached his treachery to several stockmen and their women. All walked away from their places in our chapel, faces bereft of-

Jacob Temple had taught Gunson to read, and the memory of his old master’s turn of phrase usually helped unravel the scrawl that came off the ends of his preachy fingers, but the next word – a nest of curls and loops – stumped the pupil.

‘Speak this for me,’ Gunson said, loud enough to rouse the boy.

The lad squinted while sounding it out with chirps and hisses. ‘Ek-stay-see,’ he said.

‘Ecstasy!’ Gunson said, whipping the page back. ‘What does it mean?’

Faces bereft of ecstasy yet full of shameful greed.

‘Go back to sleep,’ Gunson said, recalling the mask of joy that Temple and his faithful wore. If yet another preacher had the sense to run off to the goldfields, good luck to him.

Our Savior replaced them with a young tutor from Cambridge, whose soul I saved on the banks of the Turon. He will make an excellent lay preacher, and is bringing his intended bride from Sydney this week. In addition, a devout widow straight off the boat from Ireland with a marriageable daughter and a lad fit for mustering.

More Irish living on Temple’s overpriced land because they’d fled the famine. Gunson felt for them, because soon enough they’d be indebted beyond their wildest dreams.

We want you back to guide the faithful of Fish River on a Circuit of our chapels. The Reverend Charisma Groom of California has disembarked in Sydney and is mak- ing his way here to lead our Revival. We would count your attendance on the first Friday of summer as a contribution to your capital for the land, and put you well ahead on your loan.

Gunson reached for the tin under the cot, knocked the lid off and sifted through the tobacco left from this month’s supply, adding up the days on dusty fingers. With a groan he calculated that he was expected in under a week.

Temple prided himself about walking his country, which was all very well along the well-trodden trail from Templevale to Cave Hill, but the way on to the chapel at Hampton was along steep-sided waterways that the men of the Burra Burra mob had shown Gunson years ago. Although he would never say it, Temple feared that route because it was not part of his kingdom.

Gunson had no grounds for refusal, not if he wanted peace in his new place.

It wasn’t the idea of guiding a party that left him feeling dead in his own skin, it was bitter experience that told him whenever the Bible thumpers from Fish River ventured beyond Cave Hill, at least one would lose their way in the dark. Temple’s new tutor, fresh Irish, and an American preacher sounded just like the type to tumble down a very deep hole.

Gunson held the letter up to the light for another look at the name of this Reverend.

Charisma.

He tried speaking it out but gave up after hearing the noises coming off his tongue. The lad had pulled his feet under the blanket and the fire was begging for a log. Hooves scraped under the belting gusts outside. Lizzie would have her head down against the door and be mostly out of the rain, the pony trying to keep behind her.

It was still early. Hours of night lay ahead. He’d eat, wake the lad and make him shove down a mouthful to warm his guts, then push him into the cot.

After struggling to rest while the candle burned, Gunson woke with a jolt, dazzlers at the edges of his sight, wondering where the fuck he was. Gaol? Ship? Cave? Harriet Dacre had been in his trance again, yammering about what he’d done to her. If it weren’t for the lad calling out to calm his shouting at the old bird, Gunson might have clawed through the rock wall for a glimpse of light.

Then he remembered: Temple wanted him back to lead lost souls through the wild country. It would be Gunson’s first time in a company of people since he’d become a free man. The rain had let up, but the gale seemed to bounce off his skull. Splinters slid under his nails as he grappled with the arms of the chair, trying to shake the dread.

© Michael Burge, all rights reserved.

Two decades of answers

TWENTY YEARS AGO today, not long after six o’clock in the evening, my partner Jonathan Rosten needed to take a seat during a rehearsal at a Sydney dance studio, complaining of a racing heart.

Very shortly afterwards, he collapsed. First-aid could not revive him, nor could paramedics. By the time I got to his side they’d been attempting CPR for almost thirty minutes.

He was bundled into an ambulance that rushed him away into a busy city evening at the end of a stunning autumn day, yet by the time I arrived at the hospital, he was lost to us all at the age of just 44.

Considering the fallout after one gay man’s untimely death, I’m compelled to look at what has changed since that last day of autumn in 2004.

Interrogation of a Nation

“What did they do to you?” Madeline asked me, sitting on the back deck of the house my husband Richard and I shared in Queensland.

That was the winter of 2013. By then, I was living a completely different life in a new relationship, a new state and a new profession.

I’d long tried to articulate the experience of being disenfranchised from my relationship with Jono by the very people who should have cared the most – his blood relatives – but had usually given up when people failed to understand why anyone would do such a thing.

Madeline didn’t demand an answer, she just listened.

The passage of time had ignited something in me, because hours later I still couldn’t let things go in my mind. Revisiting the worst period of my life was still a shock, and over the following weeks and months I started to piece together the awful truth.

Writing had always been my strongest suit, and for almost a year I recorded not just my experience of loss, but also the mutual gains that Jono and I had manifested in our relationship.

My memoir, Questionable Deeds: Making a stand for equal love (High Country Books, 2015 and 2021) was the long-form answer to Madeline’s question. It was an interrogation of a nation that was not acting in the best interests of same-sex attracted people, in fact it was making our lives worse; and it threw up just as many questions as it answered.

Piece of Paper

Marriage equality seemed so far off in 2004 that even significant sections of the LGBTIQA+ community didn’t get behind it. A Newspoll taken the month after Jono’s death showed support languishing at just 38 percent against 44pc opposed. The 18pc of undecideds were, ironically, deciding the status quo.

In my shock and grief that winter, it was a depressing show from my country. Even so, I became a marriage equality advocate overnight when I realised what a critical cultural statement it would make for same sex-attracted relationships to be upheld by law, whether we were married or not.

RELATIONSHIP RIGHTS: Michael Burge and Jonathan Rosten

But for years I was forced to listen to those who reckoned de-facto relationship rights were enough, that the New South Wales legislative change in 1999 was all the cultural statement required. But my experience – five years after those laws included same-sex couples – showed that anyone, from disgruntled family members, funeral directors and public servants could easily rearrange the pieces of my late partner’s life to make it appear as though he’d never been in a relationship with me, stamping all over my rights in the process.

Same-sex equality campaigning eventually became a hallmark of my new relationship, and Richard and I marched the streets, knocked on doors, collared politicians and signed petitions because we understood that this country needed marriage equality at the earliest opportunity.

It was eye-opening to hear from those who wanted to uphold ‘the good old days’ when same-sex partners hid in plain sight for all kinds of reasons. Many feminists understandably upheld their anti-marriage stance, although this was a pro-equality issue.

Australians love a numbers game, and the public-vote approach forced on the country became about much more than marriage, it was about LGBTIQA+ dignity.

Across those years, it was painful to witness similar situations to mine still happening while the nation prevaricated under conservative leadership; but since December 2017, when Australia’s Marriage Act was finally altered to include same-sex couples, I haven’t heard of another case.

That’s not to say that blood relatives won’t try. I’ve heard of a few attempts to push a same-sex surviving spouse out of their senior next-of-kin status, but the “piece of paper from the city hall” that Joni Mitchell sang about not needing has held the line again anti-queer prejudice.

Ripple Effect

In a 2022 survey by YouthSense, 1367 Australian Gen Zs aged 15-24 were canvassed about their sexual orientation, and 32 per cent responded that they identified as LGBTIQA+. 

YouthSense attributed this confidence in our queer youth in part to a ripple effect, after the majority of the Australian community got behind marriage equality.

This gives me a sense of pride, but I sometimes wonder what Jono would have thought of the person I’ve become. We often chatted about gay rights. Being a decade older, he reached his adulthood before homosexuality was legalised in NSW in 1984, and survived the frightening early years of the AIDS epidemic, but he usually took a lighter approach than I did.

After his death, I recognised his attitude in many queer campaigners who’d endured so much upheaval by the year 2000 that the idea of fighting on for marriage equality fatigued them. Jono turned forty in that year and was looking forward to a bit of peace and time to pursue his love of choreography, which is, ironically, what he was doing right up to his death.

Our case was heard by the Human Rights Commission in 2006. I spoke in front of the gathering and the media with a very wobbly voice that morning, due to lingering grief and shock, anxious because I was presenting my grief as a case study of the unnecessary extra angst that LGBTIQA+ were being put through when our loved ones died.

Subsequently, the commission produced its Same Sex, Same Entitlements report, which led to almost 100 pieces of discriminatory financial laws changing in 2010, another step in the long journey to alter the Marriage Act in 2017.

I’d made a stand, something I had never done before on such a scale and may never do again, and that was certainly worth writing about.

Creative Allies

Questionable Deeds still serves an important purpose for me. It’s re-traumatising to rake over the coals when someone asks about my experience. Being able to point them to a book means I can get on with my life while the reader’s awareness is raised through words on a page.

I’ve written since I was a teenager, although by the time I realised I was gay and entered a long period of closeting, it felt impossible to express myself in that way due to the fear of my secret being discovered.

By the late 1990s, all that changed, and I tentatively started writing more than scripts and marketing materials in my day jobs. The day that Jono died I was sitting at my computer working on a full-length play. In the fallout, it was a full year before I was able to find the peace and security to get back to work on it, but when I did, I noticed more significant changes.

No longer was I prepared to leave LGBTIQA+ at the sidelines of my subject matter. Long before the cultural shifts of marriage equality, I embarked on a journey to bringing cultural change to literature.

But literature took even longer to budge than legislation. In a skittish cultural landscape, my queer-themed play never found a producer, and Questionable Deeds did not land a book deal, although after I published it it was selected for the first LGBTIQA+ panel at the Brisbane Writers Festival in 2016 and became an Amazon bestseller.

It took many years to land my first book deal for my debut novel Tank Water (2021, MidnightSun Publishing). Because it deals with rural homophobia, I’ve been invited to literary events across the country to contribute to conversations around crime, justice and the change in LGBTIQA+ lives outside of cities.

After decades of being granted relatively easy access to jobs in rural-based media in the UK and Australia, by virtue of being born and raised in the bush, I was gobsmacked when, in 2021, the new Guardian Australia Rural Network approached me as a rural-based journalist to write and edit. The first subject matter they wanted me to generate coverage of was rural gay-hate crime.

Now, at long last, this thing called a writing career no longer feels like a solo journey, and with plenty of new projects in the pipeline I’m collaborating with more people than ever.

One of the most special aspects of my relationship with Jono was our discovery in one another of an ally for our creative endeavours. We had hours of discussion and planning for our projects, and I loved seeing the glow of inspiration rise in him.

I carry a bit of it still, because I know how such reciprocal validation feeds equality within a marriage. Perhaps that’s the ultimate lesson in marriage equality for everyone, not just LGBTIQA+.

Questionable Deeds: Making a stand for equal love is available from The Bookshop, Darlinghurst (Sydney); Hares & Hyenas (Melbourne); Shelf Lovers (Brisbane). and High Country Books.

A moment in the spotlight

Well this is very exciting. I have been nominated as a finalist in the ACON 2023 Honour Awards media award for my collected writing about rural LGBTIQA+.

I am gobsmacked about the company I am in, including some of the giants of gay-hate crime reporting. I’m also extremely proud to be acknowledged for two decades’ writing about LGBTIQA+ issues.

It’s hard to explain the difficulty in getting work published about us. Certainly in my early writing career I had many bites, only for gatekeepers to get cold feet about the subject matter.

This was (and is) the era of #OwnVoices in which we are supposed to write what we know by lived experience. That’s all very well if the publishing and media industries have a tradition of publishing what you are… but in my case, they weren’t, so it was DIY or remain silent.

Change has finally come, although it’s still challenging to get agents, publishers and industry gatekeepers to have courage when it comes to platforming queer stories. Initiatives like the Honour Awards give our work a spotlight, thanks to media category sponsor NBCUniversal, which is a beacon of diversity and inclusion.

The gatekeepers who green-lit my work should really share in this citation: Margo Kingston and her No Fibs project; Anna Solding of MidnightSun Publishing; Gabrielle Chan of the Guardian Australia Rural Network; and James Bennett, co-editor of a special edition of the Journal of Australian Studies

Take a look at the two decades of writing that landed me this citation, in my bookshop.

If you’d like to come along to the 2023 Honour Awards, click through to my events page for all the details.

And, as always, thanks to readers!